The Hardest Thing
by xdepressedxslipperx
Summary: She knew she couldn't make it without him. She had to try though. There was no where else to turn. Except for the bathroom. The one room that held all her secrets. SeanEllie. This is an AU


A/N : Ok. So this is an AU, so if you don't like them, then you might not want to read it. Only some things are slightly different. 

Disclaimer : I don't own Degrassi :TNG. If I did though, I would make sure Sean came back so Jess would stop crying.

She came home to find his stuff in boxes. Jay and Emma were there helping him pack. Great, she thought to herself, just what I need. She walks over to an empty box and starts throwing things in it. She knows there is no use to fight it. He was always the type to do what he had to, no matter what. Even if it would rip the people he loves the most apart. She was doing better with him there to help. He is the one who needs help now. She cant help him, she cant even help herself.

After the last box was tapped and packed in the car, the four piled in. Jay and Emma in the front, Sean and Ellie in the back. He lightly touches her elbow, and runs his fingers down her arm. He stops at the new cuts, fresh from last night. A single tear rolls down his cheek.

She knew it was coming, and the thought of it brought so much pain. She couldn't control the pain. The cutting was the only pain she could control.

More tears follow the first as he thinks of how she bled for him. Why did people have to bleed because of him? First Rick, now Ellie. All he can think about is the warm blood dripping from a fresh wound.

"STOP!"

The car screeches to a halt. The door flies open, and retching sounds can be heard. A foul odor seeps into the car. He wipes his mouth and climbs back in. The dreadful drive continues. Before any of them know it, they reach their destination.

She climbs out and heads for the sand. He follows behind her. She reaches the water and comes to a stop. He comes up behind her and wraps his arms around her.

"I am so sorry about all of this." He whispered in her ear.

"No your not." She snapped back and pulled away.

"I wish things could turn out differently, but I really need the support of my parents."

"I know." She sits on a large rock before continuing. "I understand that you have to do what needs to be done."

"Are you sure your gonna be ok?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna be fine. I can take care of myself."

He pulled her off the rock and wraps his arms around her once more. They stood there holding each other for almost five minutes.

"Do you think they're gonna be ok?" Emma whispered to Jay.

"Actually I do. Cameron will work this out in his own time."

"But what about Ellie?"

"Its hard to tell, she could surprise us all." He goes to the trunk and starts to unload the boxes.

"I think its time to head back, so I can get my boxes and get settled in."

"Alright."

"Hey. Remember, I love you. If you need anything, just call me and I'll come right back."

"I'll be fine." She repeated sternly.

"But remember, I love you."

She looked at him but then she walked off, leaving him standing there gazing at the water.

The ride back was even quieter, then the rid there. The air was stiff with pain. Everybody was hurting. Even though he only moved a little bit away, they knew he had to be alone, and not surrounded by them. He needed space to sort things out. They all felt like they lost somebody. Ellie lost her best friend, and the only one who was ever truly there for her. Jay lost his buddy who helped him regardless of anything. And Emma, Emma lost her first love. She needed him and now he was gone.

But remember, I love you. That was the hardest part. If he loved her so much, then why did he just leave her. She started to absent mindedly rub her scars. She knew it was going to be hard with out him. She wasn't sure if she would be ok. She was very dependent on him and that made her mad. She didn't want to depend on anybody, she didn't want to trust anybody, but she did.

A/N: Ok.. I know that was kind of odd but I'm generally happy with it. You guys should press that cute purple button down there and review, so I know if I should continue with this story.


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